Remembering Marla

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of our loss of Marla. Even though I am Eastern Orthodox, and don't celebrate Easter until next Sunday, the fact that this horrible anniversary fell on the day that many celebrate Easter was very comforting for me. More so than I thought it would be. Here in Ohio it was a beautiful day: clear blue skies, crisp refreshing breeze, and an overall feeling of LIFE. Perfect for remembering Marla.

I struggled within myself about what to do to commemorate this day, to commemorate Marla's spirit, to commemorate all of those innocent lives that we continue to loose every day to war, and to remember our friendship. That is alot to try to bring together in one way, on one day. All of the struggling led to major procrastination and sadness. I thought of holding a fundraiser, of holding a memorial service or candle light vigil. I thought of doing nothing but staying home and crying. And that is almost what happened. I began the day with a fist to my gut, and the tears began fresh and hard. "No" I thought. I need to celebrate, not mourn. I have been mourning for a year now.

So I got out of bed, went outside and breathed in deeply. At the suggestion of a friend, I decided to plant a tree in Marla's honor. Someplace to go to remember her, honor her, and to get away from the very public nature of her passing when necessary. I thought this was a wonderful idea, and that I will probably be needing a place like this in the upcoming year, what with the release of the news of the movie being made about her years in Iraq and Afghanistan, the planned release of the book that Jen Abrahamson is writing, and the shear passage of time.

However, I do not own my own home yet, and so decided instead to get something that could travel with me, until that day that I do find my own home. I bought a red rose bush (Ruzicka means rose) and a warm, round pot to plant it in. I placed it on the mantel, next to a picture of Marla. I purposefully did not look at any media coverage, or go online to search for how others were remembering her.

Instead I took the opportunity to give new life to my 15 or so plants that had made it through the winter. I took them all outside, prunned, repotted, and watered them, bringing some back from the brink of death, giving them new life. It helped take the bitter sting out of the day.

Today, I read the Washington Post article written by CIVIC's new director, Sarah Holewinski, The True Cost of War and visited CIVIC's new website, where they have launched a great new campaign entitled "I Care." I encourage any reader to go to the site, and to add your voice to the movement. This is what is written about it on the site:

This photo campaign is not about being for or against the war. It is a campaign of compassion. Every day, ordinary women, children, and men are caught in the crossfire. We believe that civilian casualties are the most tragic consequences of war. And each injury, destroyed home, and death should be given the weight it deserves.

Please join our campaign and send a loud and clear message to our leaders as well as to the people of Iraq and Afghanistan:

All over the world...
We are watching.
We stand in solidarity.
We care.

Marla, we care, we haven't forgotten, and we never will.