"Straight Talk"

[Disclaimer: I have had one wonderful doctor in a hospital setting, and have witnessed other good doctors, as well as caring and humane nurses, but this post had to be written, because unfortunately, those wonderful human beings who were there for me when I needed humanity the most, were in the minority, not the majority. It has been my experience that the blame for all problems with the health care system from financing on down to bad hospital stays is placed firmly on the shoulder of the patients: frivolous lawsuits from overly litigious and greedy patients; patients who use "too much" health care; and patients who just complain too much and have the nerve to actually be ill and ask for help from medical professionals for it. As an often time patient, I know how truly powerless we are in the sick care system, and how unbelievably frustrating and agonizing it can be. That's why I wrote this pissed off post.]

I came across a publication today, entitled "Straight Talk About Hospitalization: A Guide for IBD Patients." I found the link to this guide through a website, Crohns & Me which I wished had been in existence, or at least I wish I had known about it when I was first diagnosed. At any rate, even though I have had a couple of hospitalizations and know what to expect, and how to make things as easy on me as possible, the thought of this straight talking guide made me excited. Wow! I thought. Maybe I can pick up some pointers, because as anyone who has been a patient in a hospital knows: it SUCKS, and any help a person can get, I will take!

I began reading, and immediately became suspicious. The text begins:

Communicating effectively with your medical team
Remember, the painful emotions you are experiencing may impact the people around you. Doctors and nurses care deeply about your emotional as well as your physical well-being. Therefore, when you feel depressed, scared or helpless, you may be misinterpreted by your medical team as being demanding and impatient. Your medical team is working hard to get you well. They need your patience, courtesy and understanding.

Deep breath. THEY need my patience, courtesy and understanding? WE need to keep our emotions in check, lest it adversely affect the staff whose only concern is for us, the patient? Yeah RIGHT!! Sorry, I mean I have had some good doctors, a few good nurses, and some great CPA's, but its painfully obvious to the scared, sick, confused patient that you don't exist as a human being to most of the people working at the hospital. You are a specimen, an unimportant afterthought. The disease you have is what the medical staff cares about, not you.

This is not the place that you spend most of your time, unlike the medical staff who are there daily for their jobs. You don't know how things are supposed to work, what is supposed to be happening, what is the norm, and on top of it all, if you are hospitalized, you are feeling horrible. It should not be up to us the patients to make sure that things go smoothly. Its not our fault when we get stuck sitting on a gurney for hours with no idea why, with no one answering our questions, with no one answering when you are desperately calling to have your bed pan removed after you've been left alone on it for hours at a time, and on and on. But the guide explains why you have to be ignored sometimes:

Things often take more time than expected
It is important to remember, however, that procedures sometimes get off schedule because each patient is given the time and attention they need. When it is your turn, you will be given all the time you need as well.

HA!!!!!! Mmmm hmmmm, that's why nothing happens when it is supposed to. That is why you are woken in the middle of the night for some god awful test that you were never told about, and have no one to ask questions of except the person who was sent to move your bed from one place to another, who know nothing except the lay out of the hospital, and where they are supposed to leave you. It is because they are spending so much time with patients. I'm sorry, but when it was my turn, I never did get "all the time I need." I was never even spoken TO, only over, from one medical staff person to another, unless I was the squeaky wheel that no one wants to have to be. And apparently, this guide doesn't want you to be squeaking either, lest you be "misunderstood."

They all really care about you, its just you, the patient, who doesn't understand and who needs to make things go right. For example, you might need to put your nurse at ease, because he may be a little uncomfortable having to deal with a patient who has such awkward symptoms.

It can be uncomfortable for both the patient and the nurse when dealing with stool....A little humor may help to ease the tension.

Poor nurse, you gotta help them out. Because remember:

Although your nurse will undoubtedly want to assist with your emotional needs, their time is often limited. They may feel frustrated if they cannot assist you in the manner they would like.

Ohhhh, so that explains why nurses tend to act like they hate you, and that you are the enemy. It is because they just care about your emotions so much, and are so frustrated by not being able to help in the way they want to. It's up to us guys to ease their nerves, and make sure that their stay at the hospital is a pleasant one. I'm sorry, but in my experience, the lower you are on the totem pole of a hospital (minus the administrative staff who LOATHE patients, I know, I used to work along side them), the more sympathetic and caring you are to patients, the more you treat them like human beings.