Since I've been kicking around this planet, there has always been the healthy discussion in society about women's roles in it, and how they have changed and can and should (or shouldn't) change. The question for today's modern woman (yes I know I called myself a girl in the title of this post, shame on me) has always been: Can We Have it All? Can we be effective wives and mothers, as well as succeed to our utmost at our career. Does one have to suffer because of the other? Do we consciously make these choices, or were we brought up to believe that we can have it all, its just a matter of social policy, and therefore we just keep pushing?
I was thinking about these issues last night as I was drifting off to sleep. This was around 7:30 PM mind you. I had seen my love for about 20 minutes total between when he got home from a 12 hour, physically demanding day, and before I snuck into bed as he went out to get food for us. I was very upset, thinking: DAMN! I have NOTHING to give to my family. Nothing. They have to do it all for ME. And its not like their days are easy. Then I thought back over my day. I gave a lot yesterday. Quite a lot. I didn't spend the day in bed, staring at a wall, giving nothing to anyone. I gimped myself to meeting after meeting, did research, tried to think big thoughts, did what others asked of me. I realized that consciously or not, I had made that choice of, if one or the other has to suffer (family or career), I had clearly made my choice, just subconsciously. I will work until I drop, and beyond. Then I will go to bed at 7:30. Damn. I had never framed it in this light: that I had made a choice to put my career first. Is that what I wanted to do?
Then it really hit me. There is a third party in all of this. It's not just about making the choice between work and family, and coming up short somewhere. There is the whole chronic health issue. So the question stopped being: Can we women have it all? but rather, can we ChronicBabes, have it all? We are needed at work, we are needed at home, and by golly our bodies need us to STOP every once in a while.
There has got to be a way, I obviously haven't found it since this just dawned on me. And it doesn't help to have a workaholic personality that will take nothing less than perfection for myself (gawd, how self centered is that?) But an article in today's TomPaine.com entitled Back On the Chain Gang helped shed some light on the subject of working my ass off. It's not just me, it's us. One of the lines in the article states:
It's hard to believe, but at one time people gave their lives for the eight-hour day.
8 hour day, HA! Even 9 hours makes me feel like I'm cheating my employer. So I guess this issue encompasses women, people with disabilities, labor, and politics in this country. Like I said, I sure don't have the answers but would love to hear what others think.